Not Fantasy

Our camera took a little tumble during Joshua's week away in the Rockies, and apparently all it needed was a short roll from the bed to a carpet to turn the LCD screen into a Jackson Pollack. Sadness. It's currently off in the suburbs getting repaired, and in the meantime we've been just been using our phone cameras to capture Matilda's every move. Someday, she will wonder why whole weeks of her life, including holidays, were only photographed using hipstamatic. Is it necessary to make july 4th 2011 look like a moody summer day in the 1970s?

No. But maybe yes?

By the way, I'm having the worst time trying to make my photos bigger on this blog. I messed with the html to make this a 3 column layout a while ago, and now everything I upload is really small and I cannot figure out how to make it larger. I can google my way through a lot of things (recipes, online shopping, if it's likely that any of us have a rare disease) but now I think google wants me to host my pictures somewhere else besides Blogger? It led me to some message boards from 2009 that were very rude about the Blogger picture upload feature, but very out of date as to how to fix this. Not helpful. Can anyone tell me how to fix this?

Also, as I was typing that last sentence my computer completely froze, sad faces appeared on all my tabs (I am not making this up), and then everything crashed. So...small pictures it is!

Matilda update: in the last few weeks she's experienced the thrill of the kiddie pool, been to the splash park a few times and learned that she loves swings.

This picture is huge. What is going on here? It's also adorable.

We discovered on her first day at the park over the holiday weekend that she can sit up unassisted. It's been all downhill from there - literally, she'll sit happily for 10 minutes straight and then suddenly do a terrifying bobblehead move that lands her on her belly in less than a second. This girl has no fear and seems oblivious to pain; she'll look up and grin at us like that tumble was the highlight of her day, let's do it again guys! She grabs her feet, practices pushups, and would rather sleep on her belly for naps. My SIDS-averse, panicky little self can hardly stand this development - I have been a no bumpers, no blankets, no belly psycho for the first few months of her life. I'm slightly more fond of the way she sleeps on her side at night, one leg straight down, one pulled up towards her chest, hands clasped together right near her face. It's exactly, freakishly, limb for limb the way I sleep and it fascinates me to no end because it's another one of the odd curiosities of watching your genetics play around in someone else's body.

After weeks of Matilda reaching and swiping for our food, and weeks of bemoaning whether or not she was ready and how exactly we should go about it, we decided it was time for her to start solids. Ok, the bemoaning part was me. Joshua was all, whatever you want to do! I'll stand over here far away from the crazy lady who can't stop talking about baby food theories! I did manage to get a grip and realize I was overthinking the entire process (I'm not sure why this was the hill that my teeny tiny smidge of type A-ness chose to die on) and then I just smushed up avocado in some breastmilk and Matilda was absolutely thrilled by the whole thing.

And by 'just smushed up', I mean I went to Whole Foods to find the perfect organic avocado, also purchased the perfect organic sweet potato, spent a while debating which one to give her first, and then took a lot of pictures of Matilda playing with the stupid fruit/vegetable (fruitable!) before she ate it. I know...

On a non-baby related note, I haven't seen Harry Potter 7.2 yet. Or 7.1. Or 6. This is not because I don't adore Harry Potter. I do. I bought each of the books the day they came out and devoured them. I would tell Joshua in all seriousness that I was completely unavailable on a Harry Potter release day. After I finished The Deathly Hallows, I closed that huge book and cried because when I started reading the series I was a kid and suddenly it was over and Harry was all grown-up and so was I. I love those books; all the magic and whimsy and deep truths about everything from how much it sucks to be fifteen to how love and friendships are so intensely powerful. I love the entire, endlessly imaginative, courageous world that JK Rowling created in those books, and I hate that Harry's story is over. So while I think that the movies are surprisingly good and may have the most charmed and perfect casting of any book adaptation ever, I'm not ready to finish it all yet and I haven't been since I finished book seven. I'm waiting because I hate when something so utterly enjoyable really, truly ends. This is called denial, and I'm wallowing in it. And, (spoiler, look away) Fred. Fred! I have spent more time than I care to admit wondering why, of all the plucky heroes who could have been offed in the final pages, it had to be him. I feel like without Fred, George is aimlessly wandering through his post-battle for Hogwarts life and this saddens me immensely. Obviously, I'm not emotionally ready for the cinematic version.

Also, Joshua doesn't like Harry Potter.

He. Doesn't. Like. Harry!!!

I'll let that one sink in, and then I'll tell you that I'm holding out this thin shred of hope that he will suddenly see the light (lumos!), will read all seven books immediately, start a movie marathon with me, and let me cry on his shoulder when the last one ends. This is never going to happen because he, and I quote, "doesn't like fantasy."

Really, there are no words.

So. The end of Harry Potter reduces me to weepy sentimentality, Joshua apparently lacks a soul, our daughter eats organic avocadoes, and our camera remains captive in the suburbs. I've caught up on our life, and it's as messy and crazy and non-fantasy as ever.